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Cat's Protection League
by Roger McGough

Midnight. A knock at the door
Open it? Better had
Three heavy cats, mean and bad.

They offer protection. I ask, "What for?"
The Boss-cat snarls, "You know the score.
Listen man, and listen good

If you wanna stay in the neighbourhood
Pay your dues or toms will call
And wail each night on the backyard wall

Mangle the flowers, and as for the lawn
A smelly minefield awaits you at dawn."
These guys meant business without a doubt

Three cans of tuna, I handed them out
Then they disappeared like bats into hell
Those bad, bad cats from the CPL.

This poem was written by Roger McGough, and is considered a classic. I had the very good fortune of seeing Roger McGough read this poem to a live audience in 1999. This poem was written in response to a request from the Cat's Protection League (a charity) for something they could use to aid their charity efforts. Mr McGough, not knowing too much about the charity and what it does, ended up with a ... err, rather interesting slant on what the Cat's Protection League does - hope you find it as funny as I did.

Take a peek!

Other sites by me:

Bunkers Golf Society